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Catch the Waves by Zdenka

Author: Zdenka
Title: Catch the Waves
Rating: PG
Theme: Lost and Found
Elements: frustration
Author's Notes: Thanks to Himring for looking this over.
Summary: Celebrimbor, his family, and unfixable problems.
Word Count: 300 (triple-drabble)


When the people here speak of the murderous, merciless sons of Fëanor, sometimes they add hastily, ‘We don’t mean you, Celebrimbor. We know you’re not like them.’

He smiles thinly and says, ‘We are not so different.’ He wants to protest loyally that they are not different at all, that he is a Kinslayer too. But he dares not press the point too far, lest Cirdan and young Gil-galad decide it is not safe having a descendant of Fëanor so near a Silmaril. His own fate is one thing, but there are his people to think about: his father’s and his uncle’s people, those who survived, who followed him from Nargothrond. They have settled here, on the Isle of Balar and the Havens of Sirion, and they should not be exiled again because of him.

And yet, the Silmaril is here. Sooner or later, the sons of Fëanor will be here. Inevitable, like a looming wave on the horizon. He cannot stop them. (He cannot save them.)

He tries to remember the last words he exchanged with his uncles and finds he cannot. It was probably something ordinary and commonplace. ‘Have a safe journey.’ ‘Stay warm.’ It was before the Dagor Bragollach, and none of them knew it would be the last time. He remembers too well the last words he spoke to his father.

Sometimes he thinks he could go in search of them, his longed-for family. But would they not ask him ‘Where is the Silmaril kept?’ and ‘How many soldiers are in the town?’ and ‘What are its defenses?’ And he likes the people who live here, Noldor and Sindar and Edain.

Making axe-heads and repairing navigational instruments is not very interesting, but it is a relief to have something in his hands that he can mend.

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
engarian
Nov. 25th, 2013 01:03 pm (UTC)
The life of one who hides in plain sight is never an easy one. I loved the stark reality of the types of questions his uncles would ask him if he returned to them for a visit. So very true.

- Erulisse (one L)
lignota
Nov. 25th, 2013 01:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
red_lasbelin
Nov. 25th, 2013 11:46 pm (UTC)
I love this. I have a soft spot for Celebrimbor, and you've written this so well. The perspective on this is so good. Always thought he was kind of stuck between a rock and a hard space.
lignota
Nov. 26th, 2013 03:28 am (UTC)
Thank you. I have a soft spot for him too, as perhaps you can tell.
keiliss
Nov. 25th, 2013 11:57 pm (UTC)
This is brilliant! I've written stories set on Balar and I've written about Celebrimbor in Eregion, but never considered where he would have gone at the end of the first age. Of course he would have been on Balar, and you express so well the difficulities of just being him in that time and place - not wanting to give his hosts cause to be uneasy about him, longing for his family but knowing he would have to betray people he has grown to like... You've opened a window onto a life, I really love this,

~Kei
lignota
Nov. 26th, 2013 04:09 am (UTC)
Thank you! I can't claim credit for the idea of Celebrimbor on Balar; it was suggested to me by avanti_90, and I've also seen other fic authors place him there. I'm not sure there's canonical evidence for it, but he must have been somewhere, and Middle-earth was running out of places not conquered by Morgoth.

I'm very glad you liked it.
lindahoyland
Nov. 26th, 2013 02:21 am (UTC)
I enjoyed this.
lignota
Nov. 26th, 2013 04:10 am (UTC)
Thanks, Linda!
hhimring
Nov. 29th, 2013 01:08 am (UTC)
You posted it! Great!
I do think this is really good (as I told you in my mail). Were you thinking of maybe posting it to the SWG archive as well?
lignota
Nov. 29th, 2013 05:10 am (UTC)
Thank you. :)

I feel I ought to post to MPTT as requested in this community's rules, so I'm in the middle of figuring out how to do that. I don't have an account at SWG. I might someday, but figuring out one new website is probably enough for right now.
hhimring
Nov. 29th, 2013 08:39 am (UTC)
MPTT and SWG actually run on the same software, with slightly different settings. So once you've figured out one site, the other ought to be easier. However, there is no hurry at all, after all!
lignota
Nov. 29th, 2013 03:25 pm (UTC)
Good to know.
blslarner
Dec. 12th, 2013 05:11 am (UTC)
Oh, but I find this very thought provoking. Celebrimbor has his own ghosts to lay, I know, and a terrible destiny to face, of course. I am just glad that he didn't add to the destruction in Sirion.
lignota
Dec. 12th, 2013 05:47 am (UTC)
Thank you. I'm glad you found it interesting. If he'd been in the Havens of Sirion at the time of the attack, I'm sure that would have been a terrible decision for him.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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