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For My Horse, by Huinárë

Author: Huinárë
Title: For My Horse
Rating: G
Theme: Lyrical Love
Elements: Rondeau
Author's Notes: This poem revisits characters and themes from “A Mouth and His Horse“ [Ch. 5 of that anthology], a ficlet I wrote during B2MeM 2012.
Summary: The Mouth of Sauron extols the virtues of his horse.
Word Count: 95


My trusty horse, so dark and tall,
Before you, foemen blanch and fall.
Your noxious breath, your orbits red,
Your sloughing flesh inspire dread
    And pangs of nausea withal.

Your corse from bog my lord did haul
To live anew with deathly pall;
A gift to me, in live mount’s stead–
    My trusty horse.

In troth, you could not brook war’s gall;
Your legs oft crack, and soon you’d crawl.
We need not tell those who have fled
How oft I pat your mild head
And spread soft hay across your stall,
    My trusty horse.

Comments

( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
curiouswombat
Apr. 30th, 2015 02:51 pm (UTC)
This reminds me so much of Burns - I have no ideas at all of the different styles of poetry, but I guess this means he might have also used a rondeau structure.

But it is more than that - there is something Burns-like in the whole thing, not just the structure. I certainly mean it as a compliment that I am now imagining Tolkien crossed with Burns!
kayleelupin
Apr. 30th, 2015 03:34 pm (UTC)
I think you're right, curiouswombat! *Giggles at the comparison*
huinare
May. 2nd, 2015 12:03 am (UTC)
Well, I looked over several samples of Burns poems and didn't see rondeau specifically; but I did see a lot of poems which use tetrametric lines (8 syllables with the emphasis on every 2nd syllable--Tolkien uses it a fair bit as well e.g. "Eärendil was a Mariner") combined with lines of different meters--so that's a significant similarity. =)
kayleelupin
Apr. 30th, 2015 03:34 pm (UTC)
I was imagining Burns too, somehow! Rondeau sounds just about right - It also evoked "In Flanders Fields" for me, which of course I *knew* was a rondeau.

Lovely work Huinare!
huinare
May. 2nd, 2015 09:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Kaylee, glad you liked it! I commented about Burns to Curiouswombat above.
nessrealta
Apr. 30th, 2015 06:13 pm (UTC)
that is just brilliant! Both the idea/image and the realisation!
huinare
May. 2nd, 2015 09:26 pm (UTC)
Thanks very much!
blslarner
Apr. 30th, 2015 07:33 pm (UTC)
Oh, dear--the thought of the Mouth offering such care to a revived dead horse has me both shuddering and laughing!
huinare
May. 2nd, 2015 09:27 pm (UTC)
In my view, even the most depraved of characters may have some affection left for something! Thanks for commenting, Larner.
dreamflower02
Apr. 30th, 2015 08:11 pm (UTC)
The horse's name is probably NOT "Binky". But there's a similar warped dissonance between Mouth's affection for his zombie steed and the name of DEATH's horse.

I wonder if this horse was his in his previous life?

Edited at 2015-04-30 08:14 pm (UTC)
huinare
May. 2nd, 2015 09:29 pm (UTC)
Hah, I've only read a bit of Pratchett (not for lack of liking, more lack of time), but I like that comparison.

And now I want to name the horse if it shows up in my work again in the future...
lindahoyland
Apr. 30th, 2015 08:17 pm (UTC)
I just loved this. So apt!
huinare
May. 2nd, 2015 09:29 pm (UTC)
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it!
hhimring
May. 1st, 2015 07:31 am (UTC)
Another animal lover! There is clearly more support in Mordor for the RSPCA than I would have imagined.
You've handled the form very effectively!
huinare
May. 2nd, 2015 09:31 pm (UTC)
Villains And Their Animal Companions has definitely become one of my tropes. :D

Thanks, Himring!
talullahred
May. 1st, 2015 08:32 am (UTC)
I love this! :D The choice of 'narrator' (not quite the right word) is original and it would have been fun if it were a spoof, but you managed to pull it off from a sincere POV.
huinare
May. 2nd, 2015 09:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Talullah! It was intended to be somewhat humorous, but at the same time, yes, sincere. The Mouth does have affection for his poor reanimated horse. =)
lignota
May. 13th, 2015 05:20 am (UTC)
I like this. It's funny, ghoulish, and oddly touching all at the same time. :D
huinare
May. 16th, 2015 12:20 am (UTC)
Oh good, those are all the things I wanted it to be. Thanks! =D
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )

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