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Learning the Hard Way by nautika

Author: nautika
Title: Learning the Hard Way
Rating: G
Theme: 010 january potluck challenge
Elements: a parent, a kitchen, a bucket, and the word fragrant done in Dialogue
Author's Notes: Some beta I am! I wrote the story based on the word *fragrance* and then had to redo it at the last minute! Oh, and I am not Tolkien.
Summary: Faramir smells a rat…or something. What is Gimli’s explanation?
Word Count: 453


“What is that … fragrant aroma?”
“You needn’t be shy, laddie. Call it what it is. It’s a stink or a horrible rank smell, but it is *not* a fragrant aroma.”
“Very well, then. What is that terrible, foul, pungent odor and how did it come to be emerging from my…from Eowyn’s kitchen? Do not tell me it is Eowyn’s cooking for she has put her food poisoning days behind her – with the help of Cook and Arwen, of course.”
“Laddie, you wound me! I would never blame your wife for my … lack of judgment.”
“What lack of judgment is that, Gimli?”
“Well, perhaps that’s not the best way of putting it.”
“Are you trying to avoid the question, Gimli?”
“No, laddie, I’m not trying to avoid the question. I’m trying to avoid the answer.”
“Gimli, my friend, I believe you know it will be better to tell me rather than Eowyn. No, wait. I have changed my mind. I am going to stay out of this and *you* can tell Eowyn.”
“Now, laddie. Come back here. Let’s not be hasty. It’s just … well … Iledaberncudalackofmair.”
“Slow down or speak up, Gimli! You led a bear to one of our mares?”
“No. I.let.Elboron.cut.a.lock.of.my.hair.”
“You…”
“There’s no need to raise your eyebrows at me, Faramir. I feel foolish enough.”
“I beg your pardon, Gimli. But what does your hair – which you should not have parted with, by the way – have to do with that stench? And where *is* Elboron?”
“I sent him to help collect eggs – to be sure he was safely out of hearing range when we spoke. The lad said it was a homework project, and as an honorary uncle, I wanted to help him with his education. Of course, as you can see…smell…I am the one who learned the lesson.”
“I sincerely hope so. What did he put on it to make hair smell like that?”
“It isn’t what he put on it. It’s what he did to it. He wrapped it in parchment, put it in a pail and burned it. Don’t worry. I was with him the whole time. There was no risk of his setting the house alight or burning himself. I imagine the stink of the hair would have been bad enough, but he must have used the bucket that Eowyn carries manure in to fertilize her garden, and well, I guess that’s everything. Faramir? Faramir! Well, I suppose I have it coming but, when you are through having a good laugh, I need to ask you something.”
“Of course, Gimli, forgive me. What do you need?”
“We can keep this between us, can’t we? I mean – there’s no need to tell the elf!”
End

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
blslarner
Jan. 25th, 2010 05:13 pm (UTC)
Oh, perfect! This is cute! And he burned it in the manure bucket? Heh!
nautika3
Jan. 27th, 2010 03:16 am (UTC)
Thanks!
dreamflower02
Jan. 26th, 2010 02:16 am (UTC)
LOLOL! Poor Gimli! No, burning hair doesn't smell that great to begin with-- and burning it in a manure bucket would certainly not help the fragrance any!
nautika3
Jan. 27th, 2010 03:15 am (UTC)
:D

Thanks!
labourslamp
Jan. 26th, 2010 11:10 pm (UTC)
Heh heh heh... Somehow I think Eowyn's going to have a field day with this one.
nautika3
Jan. 27th, 2010 03:11 am (UTC)
Ouch. I hadnt really thought of that.
lindahoyland
Jan. 31st, 2010 04:09 am (UTC)
Delightfully amusing!
nautika3
Jan. 31st, 2010 05:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
mrowe
Jan. 31st, 2010 12:17 pm (UTC)
I’m not trying to avoid the question. I’m trying to avoid the answer.

*snigger*

Very funny, and no, that would not smell nice at all...
nautika3
Feb. 1st, 2010 01:41 am (UTC)
That was my favorite part, mrowe. I'm glad you liked it!
wendwriter
Jan. 31st, 2010 06:26 pm (UTC)
That's crazy! I love the domesticity - and the comedy in this!
nautika3
Feb. 1st, 2010 01:48 am (UTC)
I'm glad you like the comedy. I really struggle to write it. I love your icon, btw!
wendwriter
Feb. 1st, 2010 09:17 am (UTC)
Thanks! I was looking for an icon that looked a bit like me, and when I saw this, I bagged it. :D
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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